The affects, for better or for worse, of choosing a spouse

Scripture Passage that Caught My Attention Today: Genesis 26:34-35 When Esau was forty years old, he married Judith daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Basemath daughter of Elon the Hittite; 35 and they made life bitter for Isaac and Rebekah.

Observation: The choice of one’s spouse is not just a personal matter. Esau’s choice had an adverse affect on his father and mother.

Application: In American culture, choosing a spouse is normally considered a personal thing. Whenever two consenting adults agree to get married, they can get married. Few, if any questions are asked—at least not to their face.

But the truth of the matter is that one’s spousal choice has a great affect on everyone around him or her. It affects friendships and it affects family; it affects inheritance and it affects legacy.

Sometimes families and/or friends expect too much of someone’s spouse. They don’t appreciate him or her for who they really are. They don’t celebrate the gifts they have to offer. This can make life bitter for the spouse.

But at other times people don’t take other important people in their lives into consideration when choosing a spouse. They seem to become temporarily if not permanently blinded by this new love—which may or may not actually work out long-term—and in so doing cause a fair amount of misery for other people in their life.

I have personally been so incredibly blessed in this regard. Sure, there are probably some times when my spouse’s family finds me significantly less than perfect, and there are probably some times when my family feels the same way about my spouse. But all in all we have each managed to fit in quite well (or deluded ourselves into thinking that we fit in quite well!) with the other spouse’s side and enjoy and love the company of one another’s families. In fact, it’s worked out so well that one of my always-in-the-back-of-my-mind fears is wondering what in the world I would do if anything ever happened to my spouse. After the time of grieving/healing, I doubt that I would want to live alone, but I would be deeply concerned about making a less-than-wise choice—one that could potentially create adverse relationships with our children and others. And, of course, it won’t be long now till our own children will be making such choices of their own. What will be the affects of their choices on the rest of us? I can only hope and pray and maybe even remind them to keep such things in mind.

Prayer: Lord, looking back I can’t really claim to have had great personal wisdom in this regard—I was just incredibly blessed to have things work out in way that currently brings to mind nothing but thanksgiving. But I do think that we at least considered each other’s families before we seriously considered the possibility of spending the rest of our life together as husband and wife. I’m grateful for that and, ultimately, for your role in bringing us together. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

(Scripture Readings today included: Genesis 25-26, Psalm 6, and Luke 10)