Parenting and Pastoring--How do we know how we're doing?

Scripture Verses that Caught my attention Today: Philippians 2:14-16 Do all things without murmuring and arguing, 15 so that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, in which you shine like stars in the world. 16 It is by your holding fast to the word of life that I can boast on the day of Christ that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.

Observation: Is this the litmus test of leadership?

Application: Parenting and Pastoring have always puzzled me. How does one know if he or she has been effective at either? When kids do really well, it often seems to be a reflection of good parenting. Yet I’ve been around long enough to know some very good parents who have had one or more children who really struggled in terms of their decision-making—some with life-long or even life-ending consequences. I’m not quite ready or willing to say that all of these children had bad parents. The same questions come to mind in regard to pastoral leadership. I’ve seen some congregations that have thrived largely as a result of really good pastoral leadership. And I’ve seen some congregations struggle under presumably poor pastoral leadership. But sometimes congregations struggle even under what appears to be great pastoral leadership. So how does a parent or a pastor know if he or she is doing a good job?

For Paul the litmus test seems to be whether or not the people in his charge are holding fast to the word of life that God offers. Personally, I think that is definitely a goal, if not the goal, to strive for as a pastor. But I’m not sure that it is the only measure of whether or not we are faithful. I’m shifting to another scripture here, but consider Jesus’ parable of the sower. There he speaks of one who generously spreads the word, though it does not always fall on fertile soil.

To be sure, there are times when we who are parents and/or pastors can and should do better. Sometimes we do not take enough responsibility for our work. Sometimes we do not wisely or effectively use our abilities to influence—indeed lead—for the good. But there are other times when we are too hard on ourselves. There are times when we forget that we are just one part of a complicated life equation and need not take personal responsibility for everything that goes awry. Jesus has already done the saving work. Our role is to just help more and more people recognize and live in thanksgiving for that good news. And sometimes the first person we need to help recognize and live in thanksgiving for that good news is the one we see in the mirror. That alone is proof enough that our life has not been in vain.

Prayer: Lord, help us to give thanks for what you have done and simply live and lead accordingly. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

(Readings today included: Philippians 1-4)