It's Complicated

Scripture passage that caught my attention today: Genesis 16:5-6 Then Sarai said to Abram, “May the wrong done to me be on you! I gave my slave-girl to your embrace, and when she saw that she had conceived, she looked on me with contempt. May the LORD judge between you and me!” 6 But Abram said to Sarai, “Your slave-girl is in your power; do to her as you please.” Then Sarai dealt harshly with her, and she ran away from her.

Observation: There was a conflict between Sarai and Hagar (the slave girl). Sarai tried to draw Abram into the conflict and also make him responsible for solving it. Abram refused to be drawn in and pointed out that Sarai already had all the resources and power she needed to deal with the situation.

Application: In counseling circles it’s called “triangulation” and it happens all the time. There is tension in a relationship and, rather than try to work out the situation directly, people will often try to pull in a third party to ‘side’ with him or her. When triangulation is used, almost everyone loses because the responsibility for a situation is passed from its rightful owner to someone else. More often than not, everyone is unhappy in the end, especially the person who allowed him or herself to be drawn into the dispute.

I find it striking that Abram had the wisdom to stay out of this situation. I’m not condoning any form of slavery, but in light of the situation Abram rightly realized that it was Sarai’s idea for him to conceive a child through Sarai’s slave girl Hagaar in the first place and so, if there was an issue between Sarai and Hagaar, Sarai would need to work it our herself.

Prayer: Lord, give us the wisdom of Abram in terms of knowing when to get personally involved in situations and when to redirect responsibility back to it rightful owner In Jesus’ name. Amen.

(Readings today included: Genesis 15-17 and Luke 6)