The Distinction between Leadership and Personal Needs

Scripture passage that caught my attention today: 2 Samuel 19:2-7 So the victory that day was turned into mourning for all the troops; for the troops heard that day, “The king is grieving for his son.” 3 The troops stole into the city that day as soldiers steal in who are ashamed when they flee in battle. 4 The king covered his face, and the king cried with a loud voice, “O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son!” 5 Then Joab came into the house to the king, and said, “Today you have covered with shame the faces of all your officers who have saved your life today, and the lives of your sons and your daughters, and the lives of your wives and your concubines, 6 for love of those who hate you and for hatred of those who love you. You have made it clear today that commanders and officers are nothing to you; for I perceive that if Absalom were alive and all of us were dead today, then you would be pleased. 7 So go out at once and speak kindly to your servants; for I swear by the LORD, if you do not go, not a man will stay with you this night; and this will be worse for you than any disaster that has come upon you from your youth until now.”

Observation: King David was personally mourning the loss of his son (who was leading enemy forces that David’s people defeated), but by displaying such personal emotion, he was deflating the feelings of his entire army who had done what they were told to do (with the exception of the death of Absalom who was killed by Joab himself in direct conflict with what the king had commanded).

Application: There is much to regret in this story (the betrayal of Absalom in the first place, Joab’s disobedience to the king’s command to deal kindly with Absalom, the fact that Joab himself was never reprimanded, etc.), but today’s lesson reveals that those in authority cannot always wear their heart on their sleeve. There is a time and a place for personal mourning and the like, but it can’t always be a public display. Leaders are not to confuse personal needs with leadership. Both need to be attended to—and to neglect one will almost always adversely affect the other, but they are not necessarily one and the same. Effective leaders either recognize the difference themselves or secure trusted people and/or other resources that can help them see the difference. For David, that person was Joab, even though Joab had a few faults of his own.

Prayer: Lord, help all of us who lead to recognize the distinction between our leadership and personal roles in order that both are properly nurtured. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

(Readings today included: 2 Samuel 19-20, Psalm 55, Matthew 28)